Limited 2.0

Do you have things that you do and don’t want to deal with?

I do.

Limitations

This past Saturday was the International Wave of Light remembrance night. Families who have lost a child to miscarriage light a candle from 7 pm to 8pm to commemorate their loved one. I struggled to participate this year. I write about infertility and miscarriage. It is the main reason I have this blog and yet I didn’t want to make a big deal out participating in an international movement that sheds light on a topic close to my heart, that I advocate for.

Don’t get me wrong. I lit a candle. I posted. But that was it. No real emotion.

I just didn’t want to deal with it that day.

I also made a leaf crown that night and it was super fun. I enjoyed a task that didn’t have any greater purpose than the 20 minutes it took to make and to bring me joy.

I am learning that I don’t have to do all the things that I feel like I should. I’m limited in what I can accomplish in a day. I don’t like being limited, but I am.

Writing

I’ve been working on my book proposal for the Hope Writers Conference coming up. I’ve written on the statistics of infertility and miscarriage. I’ve written about the book of Ruth and refugees. AND Yes, these all go together. (You’ll have to check it out when I’m published. :-D) I’ve been doing a lot of behind the scenes work around miscarriage. When it came to miscarriage awareness week, which was last week, I just couldn’t come up with a series of original posts for Instagram. I felt like I was supposed to be talking about it on social media, but I was at my limit.

Again, limits.

And it’s okay.

We all have limits.

Apparently this is a theme in my life…

What Are Your Limits? What are you avoiding? Is it for a good reason?

I was listening to an Enneagram and infertility podcast recently. I am an Enneagram 1. I love to fix a problem. They were talking about how Ones identify a problem and then try to fix it.

You say that I need to change my lifestyle? We’ve overhauled the kitchen.

Take this medicine? I’ll be at the pharmacy that afternoon.

With the sleeping and mouth issues for my family I have appointments set up with 7 different professionals to try and get to the bottom of why my kids can’t breathe at night. I like to fix a problem.

The problem is when I can’t fix it. I don’t like things being unsettled. I don’t like it when there are no ways to fix something. I don’t like having limits that I can not overcome.

But I’m learning, slowly and not so well, that it’s okay. It’s okay to not fix everything right away. It’s okay if things don’t work out the way I planned. I surely don’t like it, but it will be okay.

What are you going through that will be okay even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want?

You’re limited just like me and that’s okay. It’s the way God designed us, so it must be a good thing.